Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I Believe Essay

Desha Garcia
I believe that you should always push your hardest to get what you want …
That was my motto for my paddling season. I went to practice not knowing how bad conditioning was going to be, what the plans were for the day, and how many of us out of the 30 girls on the team were actually going to be racing at the first race. I basically did not know what to expect. We had a new coach with new techniques and she made paddling very intimidating. I was a newbie all over again. Your technique and skills that you knew for paddling didn’t matter because everyone was starting at the bottom of the barrel, basically from scratch. We were all going to build up from there and we have to do some major fighting for a seat in the canoe.

The day that my coach moved me up to varsity I became very intimidated because I was one of 4 sophomores that were on the varsity team. Last year I was on Junior Varsity and I hardly raced at all, but being on varsity is a whole other level. The races are a mile long. The girls that you will be racing against have been racing since freshmen year. I had no faith in myself at all, I wasn’t as experienced as the others but I knew that with a small team I have to push myself to get a seat in the canoe to beat out the other teams. Each day it was a fight to see who would show the signs of weakness and to see who would be able to stick it out through all the tough conditioning and training.

I went to practice every day and I listened to all the tips that my coach had given us and I applied every single one to my paddling. I didn’t care if other people didn’t give a 100% effort because I did. I wanted to race and I wanted my team to make it to states. At each practice when we would scrimmage and race the other JV girl’s crew, I made sure that we beat them and then try to catch up to the boys. I had hope for myself that I would be able to race the first race because I had been working so hard and trying to show the coaches that I wanted a seat the most. I was known as the girl who would come to the lagoon when there was no practice for the girls just to practice with the mix crews. Having said that I was on Junior Varsity last year and I hardly ever raced, I wanted to be the one that would automatically race on Saturdays and I wouldn’t have to worry about someone taking my seat.

A couple of weeks before the first race my coach told us what seats we were going to be racing in the whole season. I was given seat one. The seat that leads the whole canoe, my stroke will determine how fast the canoe will move and how much power we all pull. My hard work had paid off just for this while; the real test was the actual races and what we place at those races. Race after race we been placing in the top 4. That’s really good. We all set high goals for our crew and so did my coaches. We took each practice seriously now that championships were getting closer. We shed blood sweat and tears for the varsity girls paddling crew. We all wanted the same things, Medals, making it to states, and bringing home a states champions banner.

We raced each race as if it was a championship, sure we didn’t get first or second but this season was the first season in a very long time where the varsity girls paddling team at Moanalua High School went to states. We worked so hard for it; we beat out the other west and east OIA crews on Oahu to make it to states. My girls gave it all they got and I for sure improved a lot since freshmen year. I’ve gotten compliments on how good we were and knowing that this was my first year on the varsity crew and we made that far I felt very happy. I was proud to be on varsity and I was proud to say even though my team didn’t walk away with the state champ’s banner we made it far enough just to get to states. It was a very rough ride getting to where we were at the end of the season, without hard work, dedication, and discipline we wouldn’t have been a close team and we wouldn’t be placing in the top four at every race without those things.

I believe that you should always push your hardest to get what you want …

2 comments:

  1. Desha,
    I really liked your poem. It was very insperational and really showed your belief. However I feel that you should be alittle more detailed and "show not tell" more about how you felt. For example when you described your first race and also when you said "I was proud to be on varsity and I was proud to say even though my team didn’t walk away with the state champ’s banner we made it far enough just to get to states." I think you could of been more descriptive and give your audience a more feel for how you felt. But other than that, your essaye was really good.
    Good job:)-Marissa

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  2. Hi Desha,
    I agree with Marissa...very inspirational! (although it's an essay and not a poem ;)
    For your revision, I also agree with Marissa about adding specifics. I think you can delete some of your information about the various races and such and, instead, include specific details (sensory detail) about what it took you to get your seat...did you have to practice in the rain? did you get blisters? muscle aches? how long were the meets? the practices? Specifics like these will "show not tell" about pushing your hardest.
    Also, be sure to keep to the 500 word limit on this essay...
    mrs s

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