Many teens in today’s society are having sex at an earlier age. It is said that 66% of high school students have had sex before their senior year. Teens trying to fit into the scene of having sex are becoming normal. Many programs are being offered to children to learn about abstinence, sex, and pregnancy. The Abstinence Program pushes teen to wait to have sex until marriage. On the other hand Sex Education teaches the broad spectrum of sex education which includes safe sex, STDs, contraceptives, the causes of sex, teen pregnancy and more. Both programs are being offered to teens around the United States.
Abstinence programs pushes teens to wait until marriage to have sex. This program is not offered at every school, and some people feel as if it should be offered instead of the sex education class. In this program they do not bring up having sex and the effects of having sex. Keeping sex out of teens minds will make them not want to have sex. If teens are learning about sex and all the contraceptives all day it will make them want to have sex because there are contraceptives if they do ever get pregnant.
Sex education classes do not encourage kids to have sex. Teens that are in abstinence programs are just as likely to have premarital sex as those who are in sex education classes. Studies taught in abstinence programs do not help the students that will say yes to sex. Knowing about sex is better than not knowing anything at all. Students who are educated with accurate information about sex prove to have a safer and more responsible behavior. Students should take the sex education class because it teaches you everything about sex and the effects of sex if you do it. It’s the teen’s decision to think what they want to think. They can choose not to have sex and stick to abstinence buts it better to know about sex than to not know at all just in case they change their way of thinking.
Every teen should take sex education classes and learn about sex mainly because there is a lot that teens should be aware of before they start having sex. If they are educated well about the effects of having sex which are STDs, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, or maybe even pregnancy, then they will be more responsible. If they know about the effects it will also scare some sense into the teens that maybe they should just wait or they should have safe sex and that when you have sex it’s basically a risk that their taking.
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Desha, you did a good job on organizing your ideas of the two different types of sex ed classes. But I think you need to put more voice and work on word choice.
ReplyDeleteDaryenne
I agree with Dary, you did a good job organizing your essay. Your essay had a lot of facts that gave many evidence to your arguments. Like was Dary also said maybe a little more voice.
ReplyDeleteHi Desha,
ReplyDeleteFrom your draft, it looks like you tried to bring in both the cons and the pros of sex education versus abstinence programs.
What you need now are specific details, like statistics and quotes, to show how the two approaches are successful or not. Rather than saying that teens in abstinence programs are just as likely to have sex as those in sex education programs, provide statistics that show this. Then, do the same with each of your arguments.
Without these specific details, your argument will not be successful. This assignment is a research based essay, so these specifics, from research, are an important requirement.
Let me know if you have questions.
As far as mechanics, watch the switch between third person ("teens" "they") and second person ("you") as it detracts from your communication. Avoid second person.
mrs s
Both commentaries needed to be more developed. They are not very helpful.
Hey Mrs. S,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the feedback, I will find more specific details about my topic and add it into my essay. I will add more stats on sex education classes working and the number of teens that it helps. I will change up my essay so it will all be in third person and not in second. Thanks again.
-Desha
Hi Desha,
ReplyDeleteGlad the comments helped :)
I will look forward to seeing your final essay!
mrs s